Ever wake up in the morning feeling anxious?. I used to wait tables in college/grad school and even though that is a thing of the past, I once awoke from the dreaded 'restaurant' dream. For those of you who can't relate, this is a dream that servers have in which they are the only waiter on the floor of a restaurant and the tables keep filling. You can't possibly tend to all the customers, drowned in food orders with no relief in sight. I used some valuable techniques to dissipate the feeling of anxiety and you can use these same steps.
So when that tightness in your chest and that sinking feeling in your stomach hits do the following:
1) Ask yourself why you are anxious. Sometimes we have a feeling and we associate a lot of meaning with that feeling that only makes us feel worse. Make sure that you are actually anxious about something. Maybe you just had too much coffee. Also, by really identifying what is making you anxious, you can focus on that particular problem and begin to control your emotions. This prevents bystander casualties (children, partner, co-workers) who you might wrongfully blame for your anxiety.
2) Allow yourself to feel the emotions. If you are feeling anxious, set a timer for one hour, go into a quiet, safe space and just allow yourself to feel anxious. No, it isn't a good feeling, but the more you fight it the larger it becomes. Your body is trying to tell you something isn't okay- listen to it. BUT ONLY FOR AN HOUR. Cry if you want to, squeeze a pillow, or curl into a ball. Listen to your body: where do you feel the anxiety? What is the sensation? Really be present. This is an exercise that will actually disappear your anxiety. And when the hour is up, the hour is up. Time to dust yourself off and face what you are anxious about.
3) Ask yourself what are 3 things you can do about this problem. Anxiety is rooted in an unrealistic (repeat: unrealistic) sense of lack of control. In ANY situation, you have some control. So take a hard look at where you can be responsible. Go online and do a search for solutions or talk to your mentors about it, (I would steer away from close friends and family, but rather someone wise you trust who will give you the unadulterated truth).
4) This is the most important: TAKE ACTION. Now that you have some possible solutions you have to absolutely act on them. If you aren't doing anything, you are only giving room for the anxiety to come back. By taking action you are sending your brain a signal that YOU ARE IN CONTROL and thus, the anxiety will have no room to grow.
5) Take care of yourself. Despite taking action, you might still be a bit out of sorts. Rock out to some music, take a lavender (calming) scented bath or spend some time cuddling with your dog. Do comforting things to keep your stress level at a minimum. Reduce caffeine and sugar - this puts us unnaturally on edge- and add some exercise to get the stress-reducing endorphins flowing.
The most important thing to remember when you are feeling anxious is this simple fact: the symptoms you feel are the result of your 'survival wired' brain that thinks it is cornered with no control. Remind yourself you do have control and act accordingly.
Stephanie Staidle is a personal and business development coach and an online entrepreneur. As a founder of Cloud Renaissance ( http://www.cloudrenaissance.com ) her mission is to empower people to stop settling, live a life of their choosing, and be their own boss. Stephanie Staidle's exclusive entrepreneur training group, CLOUD ELITE, creates kick-a$$ world changing entrepreneurs from the inside out through cutting-edge business education and success coaching.
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